“No More Settling: When God Opens Your Eyes to The Truth!”

By Alisia — Founder of The Ekklesia Women | Certified Christian Relationship Coach

Sis, don’t settle for red flags when God has green pastures waiting for you. Let Him open your eyes, heal your heart, and restore your worth in Christ.”

Have you ever been in a relationship where, deep down, you knew you were settling? God showed you the red flags, but because you wanted so badly to have “a man,” you ignored them. Maybe you even tried to pray the red flags turn into green ones flags hahaha.

Sis,I’ve been there too.

For years, I was in a toxic relationship until dysfunction felt like normal, haha. I lost who I was. I lost my identity. Fear of being alone held me hostage. I thought, “If I leave, I’ll have no one. What will people think? What if I never get another chance at love?”

Society made me feel like being single meant something was wrong with me, my toxic mindset was, I’d rather have a disfunctional relationship than nothing at all, so I stayed.

Shame kept me bound. Rejection whispered lies. And even when I tried to leave, I always went back.

But thank God—He didn’t leave me there.

His Word says, “Therefore, if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36).

After years of back and forth in this relationship, God Himself stepped in and shut the door. This time it was final, hallelujah! This time, because the spirit of God was in me, He opened my eyes, and it was like, I was seeing for the first time. When this person came back I could finally say “NO”

It’s as if the scales fell off my eyes and I could suddenly see, like the Prodigal son “I came to myself “

This time the spirit of truth came in to my heart and guided me into all truth! I all of a sudden Knew, “I didn’t want this, I knew this was not healthy for me.” I finally knew my worth.

Sis, one of the most anointed words you can use in your single season is “No.” Saying no is not rejection—it’s protection. It’s guarding your heart and honoring God’s temple.

Jesus said, “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’” (Matthew 5:37).

As a child of God, “no” becomes a shield against toxic relationships, temptation, and distractions that pull you away from your purpose. Every time you say no to what is not from God, you are saying yes to His will, yes to His timing, and yes to His best for your life.

When God opened my eyes:

I now knew I was fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

I now knew I was loved with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3).

I now knew I was His daughter, chosen and set apart (1 Peter 2:9).

I realized that God’s plans for me are good, to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

I finally understood what it means to live a life of true purpose and fulfillment in Him.

That revelation changed everything.

I started honoring my body as the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19–20).

I learned to guard my heart, for out of it flows the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23).

I stopped chasing relationships and began seeking first His Kingdom and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33).

I realized that God’s plans for me are good, to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

Sis, staying in a toxic relationship will never produce God’s promise for your life. Red flags don’t turn green with time—they only deepen in color.

The Word of God gives us the way out:

Remember your worth –

“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you” (Song of Solomon 4:7). You are worthy of love that reflects God’s heart.

Seek wise counsel – “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed” (Proverbs 15:22). Surround yourself with godly mentors, sisters, or coaches who can walk with you.

Be willing to walk away –

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). Obedience may feel hard, but freedom is always on the other side.

When you trust God enough to let go, He will heal your brokenness and lead you into His best.

Sis, hear me: sometimes God calls us into a season of singleness—not to punish us, but to heal us. He said, “I will allure her, will bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her” (Hosea 2:14).

It’s in that wilderness season that He restores us, redeems us, and prepares us for His best.

You don’t have to settle anymore. You don’t have to marry red flags. Allow God to open your eyes. Allow Him to rewrite your story.

Reflection Questions

1. What “red flags” have you been ignoring in relationships?

2. In what ways are you tempted to settle instead of trusting God’s timing?

3. How can you begin today to walk in your identity as God’s daughter?

4. What does it mean to you that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit?

   
   

A Prayer for You

Father, in the mighty name of Jesus,

I thank You for being the God who opens blind eyes and heals broken hearts. Lord, forgive me for the times I settled for less than Your best. Today, I break every soul tie, every chain of fear, and every lie of the enemy that has kept me bound. I declare that I am Your workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works (Ephesians 2:10). I am chosen, loved, and set apart for Your glory.

Fill me with Your Spirit to walk in truth, to guard my heart, and to honor You with my body and my life. Teach me to wait on You, trusting that in Your perfect timing, You will provide what I need. My worth is in You alone. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Sis, if this spoke to your heart, don’t keep it to yourself.

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