How to Be Feminine: Relationship Blog

By Alisia — Founder of The Ekklesia Women | Certified Christian Relationship Coach

Have you ever wondered what it truly means to be feminine in God’s eyes—beyond clothes, makeup, or what the world calls beauty?

As a little girl, I remember my mother only allowing me to wear dresses. I suppose she believed that was the best way to teach me how to be “feminine.” To her, it was a form of protection—a way to guard me from growing up too quickly. She was teaching me to appear feminine outwardly, but the focus was never really on my inner self.

As I grew older, rebellion crept in. I wanted to do what everyone else was doing. I wanted to wear shorts and pants, to look “cool,” and to be accepted. Deep down, it was about fitting in more than the fashion.

But as a woman of God, now walking in my true identity in Christ, He has been the One to teach me who I really am. He reminds me of the woman He had in mind before He placed me in my mother’s womb.

Jeremiah 1:5

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

He shows me His love and, in turn, teaches me how to love myself so that I can love others.

Today, I can boldly say: I love being a woman. I love dresses, I love skirts, and I embrace being “girly.” Not because the world tells me this is feminine, but because I now understand my femininity is a gift from God and a way to bring glory to God.

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”

— Ephesians 2:10

My Sisters, femininity was God’s design from the very beginning. To Him, our femininity is more than clothes or makeup—it is the “hidden person of the heart” that Peter speaks about:

“Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”

— 1 Peter 3:3–4

Reflection Question: Am I more focused on my outward appearance, or am I allowing God to cultivate the hidden beauty of my heart?

What Does Pleasing God Through Femininity Look Like?

Adopting a nurturing spirit.

“And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’”

— Genesis 2:18

Eve was called a helper, a word that is also used to describe God Himself as our strength and support (Psalm 54:4). True femininity brings life, encouragement, and growth to relationships, families, and communities.

This means being feminine is not weakness—it is strength wrapped in humility, resilience, and grace.

Living anchored in faith.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”Proverbs 3:5–6

When we align our identity with Christ, we experience fulfillment, peace, and confidence in who we are.

Expressing God’s love and compassion.

“He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.”

— John 7:38

As women, when we pour out love from the rivers of living water within us, others are refreshed, strengthened, and drawn to Christ.

How to Cultivate Softness and

Femininity

Femininity is both inward and outward. Here are some ways to embrace it:

Practice self-love and self-care. Run a bubble bath, moisturize your skin, get your nails done, or use a face mask. Taking care of your body honors God’s temple.

“Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

— 1 Corinthians 6:19–20

Develop inner qualities. Practice vulnerability, patience, and compassion. Allow the fruit of the Spirit to shine through you.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.”

— Galatians 5:22–23

Refine your presence. Carry yourself with good posture, gentle movements, and a kind, confident tone of voice.

Celebrate individuality. True femininity isn’t about fitting into a worldly mold—it’s about shining as the authentic woman God created you to be.

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.”— Psalm 139:14

Reflection Questions

1. In what ways have I allowed culture, rather than Christ, to define my femininity?

2. How can I honor God more with the hidden beauty of my heart?

3. What steps can I take this week to nurture both my inner and outer femininity?

   

A Prayer

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for fearfully and wonderfully making me in Your image. Thank You for the gift of being a woman, designed with purpose and beauty. Lord, teach me to cultivate the hidden beauty of the heart—a gentle and quiet spirit that pleases You. Remove every false definition of femininity that culture has placed on me, and help me to walk boldly in the identity You gave me before the foundations of the world. May my life radiate Your love, grace, and compassion, and may my femininity always point back to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Sis, your femininity is not weakness—it’s a reflection of the Creator’s masterpiece. Walk boldly in it.

If this word spoke to you and you’re ready to go deeper—discovering your God-given identity, healing from the past, and stepping into your femininity with confidence—I’d love to walk this journey with you!

Book a 1-on-1 Christian Relationship Coaching Session with me through The Ekklesia Women, and let’s partner with the Holy Spirit to unlock the woman God created you to be.

Share your thoughts below,—I’d love to hear from you!

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