Daddy Issues – “Why Me?”

Have you ever carried a secret wound from your father that left you asking, “Why me?”

By Alisia — Founder of The Ekklesia Women | Certified Christian Relationship Coach

Growing up as a child around the age of ten, I went outside of the home to play with a few girls in the neighborhood. And while caught up in the game, I was suddenly singled out. I became the topic of their conversation.

I heard one of the girls say, “You look just like that girl a few blocks away. You have the same face, fingers, and wow—even your toes look just like hers.”

Confused, I asked, “What do you mean?”

One of the girls responded, “Your mother didn’t give you to your correct father. You look nothing like your other sisters and brothers. You look just like that girl around the block.”

Oh sis when I tell you, I had no idea how to feel. I remember standing there—shocked, awkward, ashamed, and confused. Later, I realized those little girls had overheard conversations from their parents about me. My life at such a tender age was the talk of the whole community. The older I grew, the more obvious it became that I looked different from my siblings.

From that day, I was never the same. I was broken. For years, I felt out of place, like I didn’t belong in this world. I felt as though I was a mistake.

To make matters worse, that wasn’t the end. Even my closest family members used those same words against me in heated arguments. They knew that this was my weak spot, and the enemy allow them to taunt me with these words for most of my life. Sis, sometimes it will be your own family that the devil will use as a weapon to traumatize you!

I would cry out, “Why me? Why did this have to happen to me? I loved the man I thought was my father, he was the only father I knew and he loved me so much as well. But I wasn’t his. I was the only one in the home who didn’t belong to him. And it hurt to find out this way—through gossip, through whispers, and through rejection.”

To make a long story short, that wound became the root of what is often called “daddy issues.”

I began looking for what I didn’t receive in the home. I longed for validation in the arms of men. I wanted to hear “I love you… I want you in my life.” Even if the relationship was toxic I would settle just because I longed to be accepted. But what I was really searching for was the love and affirmation of a father.

What Are Daddy Issues?

“Daddy issues” don’t mean you’re broken beyond repair. It’s simply a way of describing wounds that come from:

A father who was absent (physically or emotionally)

A father who didn’t affirm you or speak life over you

A father who was present but still distant or harsh

When we don’t receive love, protection, and affirmation from our earthly father, we often seek it elsewhere. And it shows up in our relationships as:

Being clingy or possessive

Demanding constant reassurance

Preferring older or unhealthy partners

A fear of abandonment or loneliness

Falling into cycles of abusive relationships

Sis, maybe you’ve asked the same questions I did:

Why me?

Why couldn’t my father love me the way I needed?

Why do I keep looking for love in the wrong places?

The Father to the Fatherless

But here is the good news: even if your earthly father failed you, your Heavenly Father has never left your side.

Psalm 68:5 says, “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.”

God Himself steps in to father His daughters. He affirms us. He protects us, and He provides for us.

Jeremiah 1:5 reminds us: “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born, I set you apart.”

You are not a mistake.

Psalm 139:13–14 declares: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

You are intentional. You are loved. You are chosen.

This is how God healed me. He used His Word to become the Father I was searching for all along. His voice silenced the lies of rejection. His love rebuilt the foundation that had been broken.

Reflection Questions

Sis, pause for a moment and reflect:

In what ways did your earthly father (or lack of one) shape the way you see yourself today?

Have you been searching for validation in relationships instead of from God?

Are you ready to let your Heavenly Father fill the void and heal your heart?

Prayer of Healing from Daddy Issues

Heavenly Father,

I come before You today, laying down every father wound, every broken memory, and every hidden scar. Lord, I confess the pain of rejection, abandonment, and the longing to be loved. But today, I receive You as my true Father.

Wrap me in Your arms and remind me that I am not a mistake. Heal me from the need to seek validation from men and break every cycle of unhealthy relationships. Let me hear Your voice louder than the lies of the enemy.

I declare that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am chosen, I am wanted, and I am loved by You. From this day forward, I choose to walk as a healed, whole, and beloved daughter of the King.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Final Word

Sis, your past may explain your pain, but it does not define your future. You may not have had the father you wanted, but you have the Father you need—one who will never abandon you.

Your Heavenly Father calls you His own. And that changes everything.

Sis, if this blog spoke to your heart, I’d love to hear from you! Take a moment to share your thoughts in the comments—I believe your testimony could encourage another sister who is walking through the same valley.

And more daughters of God can be reminded that they are loved, chosen, and not forgotten by their Heavenly Father. Together, let’s build a community of healing and hope.

If this message spoke to your heart and you recognize that father wounds have been affecting your relationships, I’d be honored to walk alongside you. As a Certified Christian Relationship Coach, I help women heal from the root so they can break cycles, embrace wholeness, and build godly relationships.

If this blog resonates with you, I invite you to schedule a one-on-one coaching session with me today. Let’s journey together toward the freedom and healing your Heavenly Father desires for you.